Russell Zager: The Man, The Myth, The Meme
Technical Program Manager at Google by day, master woodworker by night, 3D printing addict on weekends, former college swimmer, Star Wars Micro Galaxy collector, and chaotic house renovation survivor.
Google TPM
Russell wrangles spreadsheets, unblocks engineers, and delegates the hard stuff to Jira. His pull requests are actually status updates that say "per my last email." When a project goes sideways (see: his house), he pivots with the grace of a spreadsheet pivot table - technically impressive, mildly nauseating to watch.
KPI Meter
Projects delivered: 100% on time
(except when the house leaks)
ZagerWoodworking
Russell's Etsy shop sells handcrafted wooden items that are simultaneously gorgeous and completely useless. Each piece is sanded to perfection, finished with artisan oil, and named with the gravitas it absolutely does not deserve.
The Chair That Never Sits
A stunning chair. Do not sit on it. It's art.
3D Printing (Bambu Lab)
When Russell isn't sanding wood, his Bambu Lab X1C is silently printing plastic nightmares. From fully articulated dragons to a Death Star you can (but should not) eat spaghetti from, the printer runs 24/7 because filament is cheaper than therapy.
Middlebury Swimmer
Gold medal in staying afloat during finals
2009
Silver: Fastest non-competitive dog paddle
2008
Bronze for most creative lane-line avoidance
2010
Team spirit (translation: loudest splasher)
2007
Star Wars Micro Galaxy Collector
Russell's shelves are a tiny galaxy of plastic fanaticism. Each ship is smaller than the last, yet his wallet empties faster than the Millennium Falcon making the Kessel Run.
Renovation Adventures
Russell bought a fixer-upper. The house had other plans. Here is the casualty report.
Sewer scope adventure
Found a mystery creature
Water booster quote
$5,000 for a pump that says 'hope you have a mortgage'
Drywall discovery
Opened a wall, found a second wall. And also some 1973 newspaper.
Permit office saga
Left the permit office with a stamp and a new respect for bureaucracy.